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Post by Voice on Dec 25, 2009 0:50:14 GMT -5
Few notes on this, First, I will be adding more as i find them, and write them. Second, I'm calling them poetry cause I am not sure what else they are. Thirdly, they are published in a magazine, or at least most of them, so if you plagarize, I have proof of ownership. Fourth, DESPITE the fact they are published, I say they are crap.
So.... enjoy.. if thats possible.
Chaining Passion
Timeless fate holding me down, However on i follow thou. Whats wrong with me? Why can't I see? Must I follow this path? Or can I chose another?
Who made these chains that bind me down? Do they think they deserve my fate? Try to break me, Try to craft me, I am stronger then this, I am not going to lose.
I live alive,I live in sight. Show me your hand, Show me your heart. My mind is my weapon, My emotions are my strength.
Hatred as my left hand, Love as my right. Let me show you how I move My life every true.
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Post by Voice on Dec 25, 2009 0:51:59 GMT -5
Orchestra of Masks
How many masks hang in front of me? I wear one for her, I wear another for him, one for my father, One for my mother, one for my sister, Another for my brother, and one for my lover, All made for the one that desires it, Each one is unique, How many I have, Is how many I know
I sit on my thrown, my posture is slack, These masks float around me, all waiting to be grabbed, If I take off one mask, another replaces, I can’t let them go, I can’t go without, Am I stuck with these fakes, Or are they fakes at all?
Are they a part of me? Or something else for real? I can’t ever tell, I’m not sure I care. I sit in this dark world around me, What is real, what is fake? Does it matter? What is my face?
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Post by Voice on Jan 19, 2010 2:24:14 GMT -5
Sorrow Song
Whats with this world I live in? Why does no one say, What they truly think inside, Despite their obvious stay?
No matter how I try to help, No matter what I say, Ignoring my helpful quips, Just for my dismay.
What is with this hopelessness? Why am I so sad? If they don’t need my help, Then shouldn’t I be glad?
But when they lie, cheat and steal When they deny their wrongs, Why must I defy, keep and feel, All this sorrow songs.
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Post by Voice on Jan 19, 2010 2:34:03 GMT -5
Typically I wont do this, but im kinda stuck on this choice. Sorrow Song i wrote in the middle of the night just cause it came to me, but personally i dont like it very much. So im not sure if i should send it to the school literary magazine. If anyone has opinions id be happy to hear.
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Post by Renae Thrum on Jan 20, 2010 21:07:11 GMT -5
I've read them all as promised hun. I also liked them all including Sorrow Song. Though I also noticed a few things, which I thought might be worth mentioning.
You can use or ignore any of it. After all these are your works. So my advice and suggestions are only intended to help you. Should you choose to use it.
For Chaining passion the only part I have issues with is the last line. Personally, I would change it slightly to read as.
"My life ever true." dropping the y.
For Sorrow Song, I'm get stuck on the last line. The flow and feel is off for me and I can't figure out a way to phrase it so that it works.
"Why must is defy, keep and feel, All this sorrow songs."
I keep wanting to read it as:
"Why must I defy, keep and feel, All this sorrow songs."
Though I don't know if this was what you were trying to express. Still I would like to say again that, this was just what I noticed and suggest. These are your works and you should do only what you feel is right by them. Even if that means leaving them just the way they are.
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Post by Voice on Jan 23, 2010 3:01:46 GMT -5
Four Slates A world were darkness is hyberbole. This world is dim, this pain is fake, This lake of sorrow, will ever wait.
My skin is cold, my heart beats slow, This ice in my veins, is painful, no? What is this feeling, this icy knoll? What is this pain, this everlasting hole?
A gale leaves my mouth, hail blown about. A gust amounts, to the life I account. What lines have I blown alive? What have if forced aside, my winds abound?
Fire embraces my heart, my soul ablaze apart, My mind a flurry of emotion, unrestricted and free. Does this flame ever dim, ever warm and lit? Can I walk without this torch akin?
My stance is solid, my muscles like rock. I will stand here, no matter who mocks. Why will my body not bend? Why is my soul so stiff?
I am cold like ice, strong like the wind, Temperate as fire, Solid as stone. I am all that I am, so help that I can.
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Post by Voice on Mar 29, 2010 17:11:45 GMT -5
How can I talk to you, Without you say me mean, I can’t say how much I trust you, Which by you will never be seen.
All I want is to talk, But that’s seen is fangs, How can we walk When all you expect be hang.
I can’t take this anymore, I can’t remain sane, As long as you say before You even see your fangs
I can’t keep trying to hide my teeth, Without biting my mouth, As long as you refuse to believe Your teeth are as long and stout.
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